...trucee...

*sits indian style ready to read other letters*

_Ms Simpson_

Today's blog is about whether or not people should take steps backwards by dating or fucking with someone from the past. this topic was brought to my attention by my good friend Aliyah and when she asked me this question, well shit, i didnt know what to tell her!! now that ive gotten time to sit and think about it, i think i have a pretty decent answer...

so many people have been in the situation where they have been approached by an ex on the topic of being together again. i've seen it happen way too often...it has even happened to me. my outlook on it is...

but...if its a reason like..."our parents didnt want us together" or "we felt we were too far apart, distance wise, to make it work" then i believe it can be given another shot. Nothing in the last two examples was the fault of either party which means that things were ended on mutual terms and there can still be something there.

if the reason involves cheating, dishonesty or betrayal, let that shit stay where its at...in the past!! The relationship obviously was not based on much if those factors came into play...so why try it again?

after saying that, theres another stipulation i think would alter my answer. How long ago has it been since you were with this person? is this a fresh break up? or has it been years and years? i believe people make mistakes so not all cheating and lying is completely deliberate BUT...if the cheating happened yeeeears ago and you have both been with other people since then, what the fuck is the point anyway??? why are you trying to rebuild something that crashed and burned SO long ago?

If its a fresh break up and you guys are still actively communicating and tyring to talk and work things out, then i say more power to you. Myabe the person realizes what a fuck-up they made and needs a second chance to prove that they can make things work.

one more stipulation...how important as this person to you? did you guys really even have something serious? or was it just puppy love from jump? is it something you saw going anywhere? did you really feel like you had a shot with this person to spend your life with? Because if i give an ex a chane at this point...i'm looking for something long term. not just a trail period to see what may and may not happen AGAIN. If im gonna be testing something out, it would be with someone new so that im not sitting there already expecting certain results.

i dont do that whole "dont know what you got til its gone" bullshit. how does that worl out anyway? you have something right in your face for months or even years that is damn near perfect...and it takes you losing it for you to realizze how special it was?!!?!??!?

That's almost like someone dying thats close to you and you sit and say that you didnt realize how much they meant until they were gone! i CANT get down with that one!! It should NOT take extreme measures to appreciate what and who you have in your life!

I think an ex trying to come back around is actually quite selfish. We've gone all this time without each other, i've had my time to get over you...and now here you come with a sob story about ho no other female/male worked out and were nothing like the person you want back so, can we give it another shot? NIGGA/BITCH PLEASE!!!

i'm not about to sit here and go backwards because you could not find a replacement for me!! must be kidding...

(sorry im so into this topic but i feel some type of way for real...just doesnt make sense to me)

there are ex's i've wnated to hit up like...what happened to us? maybe we should try again but i wouldn't. That can completely mess up whatever they have because now they are sitting there with thoughts of how things could have potentially worked out for the two of you. And all that happens is another relationship where i am sitting there wondering whether or not history will repeat itself. Because people can say they forgive all they want...but no one ever forgets something as painful as a break up.

i could go on for days about whether or not you should go back to your past and try to make it your future but i want to know what you guys think...

I love you... I'm in love with you...

These are words quite often use to describe one's feeling for their significant other. I've been asking myself for awhile whats the difference of the two statements? What makes the other statement more powerful? When will you know that you've fallen in love with that person?

Love is the single most important feeling in the human universe. Love is being there for another human being, being there completely and without hesitation. It's talking and communicating, sharing special moments, sharing everyday life and boring Sundays. It is loving each other at the parties, when everything is fine, and being there during the dull and grey weekdays, thus making them even more colourful than the largest party spent away from your Love. Love is slowly getting to know all about this wonderful other human being. It is knowing your Love's past and accepting it, it is cherishing the gift it is to be together in the present, and it's knowing that no matter what happens, you will be there in the future. Love is, narrowed to a very basic word, a question of trust. It is letting go and trusting this other person. It is not being afraid that what you say will be passed on to others. It's knowing that your Love will not laugh at you or think you're silly when you talk about your doubts and fears, because we all have doubts and fears! And once you trust your Love, once you know that what he or she tells you is the complete truth, once you know that your Love will not leave you should you become fat and old, should you get paralysed and blind, then you are free ! It sounds so simple, and anyone who have felt like this will agree - it is the best feeling in the world!

However, whats the difference between loving someone and being in love??

Being in love is a condition. Loving is an action. Being in love usually describes what is happening to you. Loving usually describes what you do about it. There's nothing wrong with being in love. But what you do about it is most important.

I believe that the magic element is the individual will to include the other in his or her life. A person becomes "in love" by choice. The difference between love and being in love is the softening of one's heart to the other. It's a chouce each person really needs to make for him or herself. Obviously, you can not will another person in love with you.

A person in love sees the best in his or her loved one and is able to overlook the other's shortcomings. Being in love, in actuality, doesn't change loving people. It creates a new view of each person for him or herself and for each other. It is like selective sunbeams shining in on our best views, leaving the rest in muted shadows.

The problem with the "in love" focus comes when the cozy feelings are used as a barometer to determine a level of commitment in a relationship. This way of thinking overturns the way love works. It should be the other way around. Loving individuals give tenderly out of their love and commitment for each other. They both contribute to the security and warmth of the relationship and nurture their love for each other.

People "in love" most often become disillusioned because the intense cozy feelings fade away. Once the infatuation has worn off, as it always does, these people suddenly believe they must not have been meant for each other. Otherwise, they would still be feeling the same intensity of love for each other.

I think that being in love is a preparatory emotion that helps people overcome their selfishness long enough to BEGIN loving each other. The infatuation is not the goal. The goal is to sacrifice one's own selfishness, to gain a deeper appreciation and tolerance for the other, and to learn to love with lasting commitment. To be truly in love is to be considerate for your loved one's life-long well being. This kind of love needs to deepen in order for meaningful relationships to last. These are the couples who stay in love.


The opinions and views on the difference of love and being in love will vary. So my question(s) are what is your definition of love and being in love? When would you know that you've fallen in love? And could being in love be confused with infatuation?

ok so, i know blogs are personal but i wasn't sure how personal they should get but fuck it...if i'm going to let you into a piece of my life...why not ALL of it?? well, not ALL of it but enough for people to get to know me!

now, i'm not gonna sit here and say i'm gay...because i dont know WHAT i would do without sex with a male (i was gonna say penetration but females can do most that men can now a days) so i'll say "sex with a male". Yes, there are toys women can use and all that but there's nothing like the raw emotion and passion a man can give and i'm not willing to give that up AT ALL (especially with my sex partner now!!!)

with that being said...i do find females attractive, most attractive creatures on this planet if you ask me. There's something about a woman that is sooo magnetic that makes me curious about her. Not all women (i dont really do Studs or AG's...whatever the term is this month) but i will definitely show my interest in a sexy ass Femme. Ok, let me not say "show my interest" because i'm as shy as they come (right now) but i will sit there and be curious about her (whoever she is at the time)

I'm not sure where the feelings came from...i'm not even sure that i even give a damn but shiiiiiit, i am a firm supporter of two females...or even two females and a dude. (havent had my first 3some yet...sigh...want one for my birthday though hehehe)

anywayz, this blog is really about me wondering where the hell this came from. I'll admit when i was younger i didnt quite understand Bisexuality...i used to say "either you like dick or you like pussy...you cant like both"...

needless to say, my views have changed and ummm...i like both (innocent smile). would i bring a girl home to moms? nope. but i will bring one home to "daddy" ;-)

crazy shit is, the more females i talk to, the more i find out are bi or just flat out gay. Is this like...an epidemic? or have people really been hiding their true sexuality all this time? I know damn well that lesbianism didnt start in the 20th century lol...nor did being gay or bisexual so where did all this stigma come from???

Things have loosened up with shows like The L Word and the show about men that i forget the name of but did watch...and with downelink.com and Noah's Ark...like come on, why the fuck isn't shit just left alone now? why do jaws still drop when someone finds out a girl or guy is gay? and WHY is it ok for females to be lesbians and guys dont mind jerking off and watching or joining?? but when it comes to men theres still this big deal about their sexuality??

this blog is more just me venting and sharing a personal side of myself.

i would like to know people's views on these things if you dont mind sharing.....

*Ms Simpson*

YES!! We get to another one of my FAVORITE topics..."situationships"

For those of you who dont know what a "situationship" is, i will give you

MY definition for one...not anyone elses'

Ahhhh, we finally get to talk about a subject that almost EVERYONE has a different opinion on!! And one thing i love is a good debate between the sexes...

So many times in my life have i had to put up with a guy saying he "doesnt want a title"...mind you i hardly ever ask for one lol but i guess they just thought they should let me know. So, as a female i have experienced a plethora of different "situationships" all that depended on the person i was dealing with. Some didn't involve sex, some didnt involve emotions and others involved everything a relationship would...without it actually being called a relationship.

It can go both ways in the "situationship"...it can very well be the man pressing the woman (or whatever your preference) being together and putting a title on something. Whichever way it does go though...it still occurs very much. I've heard more and more of my friends saying they have a "boo" or a "FWB (friend with benefits) than i have heard them say they actually were in a committed relationship with someone.

Now i know everyone isnt going to just jump into something head first without getting to know someone. To me, that isnt where the "situationship" starts...that is a courtship. The "situationship" starts when you notice that you've been "dealing with" the same person for 1 yr+ and yall still havent even discussed being together.

Some people are cool with that...at times i'm cool with it too...but what happens when one catches feelings and one doesnt? Where does the "situationship" go from there? And should these stipulations be discussed when you first enter into something...or after the person starts catching feelings??

Granted, i used to be the poster child for "situationships" because i have the mentality of a dude...or had. I liked to keep everyone as a "close friend" so that no one would think they had me as a girlfriend or anything of that sort. I still am an avid supporter of the "situationship", i just think its gotten a bit too...how can i put this?...wide spread for me lol

My only real questions are (although you can answer any i have had during my brainstorm) is...what is YOUR definition of a "situationship" and how does it differ from an actual relationship to you? Have you ever been in one? And would you prefer a "situationship" over a relationship...and why?

Last but not least...what would make you want to move from a "situationship" into a relationship? And vice versa?

_Ms Simpson_