i've changed for you...

11/18/2008 09:39:00 AM Posted In , Edit This 4 Comments »

How much should one change in order to make the relationship work?

This is a question I’ve asked myself alot because in most of my relationships, I try to “adapt” to my surroundings to make things work without changing much of what makes me… ME. This can be rather tough to do because, of course, everyone you encounter will be different. So, you have to adjust the whole approach as to “how will I deal with this person to keep both of us happy?” or “what will I do different from my last relationship?”

With me… I’m as stubborn as a mule but yet I’ve catered to every boyfriend that I’ve had if he was worthy of it. But in this case, I feel as though I’m lost within myself as to how much I’ve changed for this person… And now its starting to bug me a bit. Don’t get me wrong, I’m in love with the man I’m dealing with but yet I feel as though I’ve lost a sense of self in this.

Let me break it down a bit…

I’m the type of woman that is what we call that “ride or die” chick. I’ll stand beside my man through thick & thin. And I’ve done so in ALL of my relationships. But this relationship is sooo different. I find myself changing things that I normally wouldn’t give a shit about in any other situation, like going to the clubs and hanging out like I usually do (I’ve like stopped that completely). And I find myself saying yes because I’m somewhat afraid of what might happen if I say no.

I’ve been told I’m a strong individual but in my opinion, I believe right now my strength has turned into my weakness. I give my all to make my other half happy. But in the same sense, I’d hope he’d do the same for me. I’ve been taken advantage of so many times before so I’d hope in this case, I’m not being made out to be a fool.

Maybe I’m overreacting, who knows…

Its just a thought that had came to me during a brief discussion with my significant other. And it just hit me like damn, I’ve changed ALOT in this relationship and maybe I need to cut back on it or just need to have a serious sit down talk with him about this.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has been through this and its somewhat crazy because I know a lot of people believe that they need to stay the same in every relationship & think that it will work out. I must say you’re so wrong…

But my question is…
How much are you willing to change for your significant other?


Vegas International said...

There are certain things in your life that are genuinely you. There are certain things in your life that you take on due to your surroundings and relationships. They key is knowing who you are, and what things you will accept. You should never change who you are, and you should never go past your bending point to where you feel you will break.

You have to know who you are at the core separate from who you are due to society and surroundings. You can always give up the external things and forces around you, but you should never compromise the internal.

M.A.S.E said...


Anonymous said...

you shouldnt have to change for anybody. they are suppose to love u for u and who u are.. not for who they want u to be.. everyone is different in their own way... not made to be what the other person wants us to be just to stay or be wit them.. no bueno..

Patron Pay said...

You should never have to change for anyone unless YOU the person feels its called for to change. A person should love you for who you are regardless of what flaw you have. The only thing about it is that do you feel if you want to keep this person around and you know the things you've done before makes this person wanna leave.....should YOU change to keep this person happy. I be damn if a female says CHANGE OR IM GONE......"SHYT GOODBYE BITCH" lol. Now if I wanted to keep this girl around and I know my actions havent been up to par then maybe I gotta say to myself "shit if i dont get it together then she is gone" then fuck yea I would wanna change not only for her but FOR MYSELF !!!!

(for the record you was overreacting...your a good person at heart that should never stop you from being who you are....people walk over people all the time its just a matter of when you catch it to try to get it to stop)

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