I LOVE YOU vs. I NEED YOU

11/13/2008 10:13:00 AM Posted In , , , Edit This 5 Comments »

here are some definitions of "LOVE":
1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection
3. sexual passion or desire.
4. sexual intercourse.

and here are some definitions of "NEED":
1. a requirement, necessary duty or obligation.
2. a lack of something wanted or deemed necessary.
3. urgent want.
4. to be necessary.
(all definitions taken from dictionary.com)

this topic was bought up in one of my classes that to need someone is stronger than simply loving them. the girl explained that when you love someone it is just a feeling that can pass...but needing someone is to not be able to live without them.
hearing that made me think and it certainly made sense to me.
i have told a number of people i used to date that i loved them...and i meant it because i did hold a certain amount of love for them in my heart. i didnt need any of them though...or else they would still be here.
at the same time, i tell my family members everyday that i love them...i also feel that i need them too though. idk what i would do without these people in my life.
have you ever had anyone else besides your family in your life that you need? i'm not sure that i do. :-\
i slipped up in my last relationship before this one that just ended and told my ex that i needed him. at times it felt that way because we were living together and doing everything together. when we broke up i cried day in and day out, thinking my life was over and that i couldnt go on another day (funny how i said that each passing day tho lol)
now that he is gone...well, i still breathe and have all my senses, i'm still walking and talking the same (perhaps with a slightly improved maturity) but everything is the same. i didnt need him, i lived without him after we broke up. didnt even keep him as a friend.
the relationship i just got out of...omg, i love this man to death...i damn sure do! he has changed my life for the better, even with the drama we had involved with us. i feel like i need him in my life, even as just a friend. everytime we try to go our seperate ways...SOMETHING brings us right right back. even if its a long amount of time, by some devine power or connection, this man and i cannot stay apart.
i cant sit and say that i would die without him, because no one would die just because someone isnt in there life anymore (unless you're like a siamese twin or something). i can say though, that if we did get to a point where we didnt speak again...i think i would feel a void or an emptiness inside me for a very long time, if not forever.
on the flip side tho, i've heard of older couples that, when one dies, the other one isnt too far behind because they just couldnt bear to live without their mate, like life just wasnt worth it without them. i want that type of love...i want to experience that and in some ways...if i was older and in this same situation, it might be that way.
there are also cases where people have someone in their life soo long, that they feel like they cant live without them...but do they really know that? if it hasnt EVER been tested and they've never been apart...well, how would they know?
if i was with someone who i grew to love, fell in love with and wanted to marry...i think that is the point of me needing someone. when i feel as though i want to spend the rest of my days on this earth with a specific person, then and only then will i consider the notion that i NEED someone in my life.
people NEED water, oxygen, food, and good health to live. some survive without having any family even so idk. its a very touchy topic because if you tell someone you dont need them in your life, they get offended...when in all actuality, they probably dont need you in theirs either!
i feel like everyone has felt this way at one point...but did it hold true? did you die without that person in your life? or did you just hurt for a while? do you have someone in your life now that you feel you couldn't love without? if so, why do you feel that way?
IS IT POSSIBLE TO SAY YOU LOVE/ARE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE IF YOU DONT NEED THEM???

5 comments:

Vegas International said...

to me thats just the difference between loving and In Love with someone as it pertains to previous relationships. Now, you can fall out of love and then you can feel like you dont need the person anymore. With family its kinda the opposite, you need your family growing up and that in turns leads you to loving and appreciating them. This is why most dudes try to be needed by a shorty (monetarily,sexually,etc.), this in turn makes them dependent on them, and then keeps them relevant in the womans life as long as he can support. Also, why some chicks love you when you got it, and when you dont they are no where to be found. This shouldnt be news .... you prob just never analyzed it before.

juslovebnme said...

Well yes, this is a VERY touchy topic. The whole basis of this "need" feeling, in my opinion, is the fact that its basically A FEELING. I don't really use that word in any relationship except for the one I have with God. He's the only one I need in my life to make things right & to keep me grounded. As far as the human man, its a matter of "want". Like in my current relationship, I "want" to have my man in my life because of the way he makes me feel and the fact that I can say that I'm truly in love with him. But yet, I don't "need" him. That word tends to make you think that you need that person like a cancer patient needing chemo in order to survive. I would survive if this relationship were to end. Yes it would hurt like hell and probably take awhile to recover but no I wont think its the end of the world. However, this whole topic is a touch & go thing and many will view it differently.

I'll probably end up coming back to this post with a whole new point of view in a few days cuz i'm kinda bias on this topic lol.

Anonymous said...

LOVE THE FOUR LETTER WORD THAT CAN CAUSE A LOT OF PAIN AND ALSO PUT PPL IN ACKWARD SITUATIONS. LOVE TO ME IS A STRONG FEELING ONE HAS TOWARDS PEOPLE WHO MEANS SOMETHING TO THEM IN THEIR LIFE. LIKE FAMILY FOR INSTANCE: THEY ARE THEIR FOR U THROUGH THICK AND THIN AND JUST WONT UP AND LEAVE U LIKE A SO CALLED "FRIEND" WOULD. ANOTHER TYPE OF LOVE IS FOR THAT SIGNIFICANT OTHER. THIS TYPE OF LOVE IS SHOWN IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS. UNFORTUNATELY NOT ALL OF THEM ARE GOOD. LOVE TENDS TO MAKE PEOPLE ACT IN SUCH A WAY THAT THEY HAVE NEVER ACTED BEFORE FOR ANOTHER PERSON. FORGET ABOUT SEXUAL INTERCOURSE FOR NOW AND JUST THINK ABOUT THE STRONG PASSIONATE FEELING WHICH BRINGS TWO PEOPLE TOGETHER AND CANT DO WITHOUT EACH OTHER. LOVE CAN DRAW PEOPLE REAL CLOSE TO ONE ANOTHER AND SOMETIMES TEAR THEM APART..
OKAY.. NOW OF COURSE LOVE AND NEED ARE TO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS. YOU DONT NEED ANYONE REALLY U JUST WANT THEM.. WHEN U SAY U NEED SOMEONE YOUR JUST SAYING THAT U NEED THAT SPECIAL ATTENTION FROM THAT ONE PERSON. LIKE I SAY SOMETIMES I NEED A MAN AND THEN MY FRIENDS SAY U DONT NEED ONE U JUST WANT ONE.. A NEED ISNT A NECESSITY ITS JUST SOMETHINGT THAT U WANT BADLY. YOUR NEEDS ARENT ALWAYS FULFILLED THEY ARE SOMETIMES CUT SHORT.

Anonymous said...

Of course its possible to be in love with someone without needing them. You can make it through the day without talking to them every second, but you can't make it through the day without breathing...It doesnt make sense to tell someone you need them, in a way it gives them power over you.

Patron Pay said...

Good topic....opinion

Some people get confused on what love really is. I heard alot of females tell me before they loved me. I believed em and you kno why ??? Cause I knew they wasnt "in love" with me. I can love my next door neighbor lol I can love my basketball card collection. I dont need those things tho. So when I hear the females use that terminology I know they dont need me they just are stuck in the moment which alot of people do. Im in love with my mom and dad to DEATH. I need them in that sense. They was a big part of my life and I wouldnt know what to do without them. Thats the thing....can you have that feeling for any old body ??? Well that answer is yes you can if you dont know that by now. I fell in love with this girl who just stole my heart from everything I was doing. I mean at first she was cute....i wanted to get to know her.....maybe see what she is like sexually....and see what happens from there. Relationship was good in the beginning til the drama hit. Thats when things started to fade. But after that I started to get to know her alot better as a person and a companion. We honestly in my eyes became the best of friends cause we kept learning about each other and we still do to this day. I started to realize that I need this girl in my life cause she influenced me to become a better person. Shit if she havent came along I probably still be caught in all this corny non sense i been going thru forever. She truly became an inspiration and I can never forget someone like her. So YES i need her in my life cause I would feel like I lost a big part of me. So to be IN LOVE with someone is to need them.....but to love someone is so blah cause anyone can love someone thats easy. You see where the task lay when emotions get involved. When someone isnt willing to try to keep you and they say they loved you....best believe they ass didnt need you.

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