...trucee...

This post idea came out of nowhere but so many people have been asking me what i want to do with an English degree and THIS is what i want to do! So instead of ignoring my blog anymore...i have to get back on track so i can go into the New Year with hard work being done...because that's how i want to spend my year...

Anyway, back to the point of the post. Its been on my mind lately that alot of couples dont work out because one party or the other feels they arent getting the 'love they need'. Everytime i run this thought over in my head, it makes me really analyze what they mean by that.

On the flip side, the other party is usually standing there with a confused look saying things like: "i loved them the best way i knew how'.

THERE IS THE PROBLEM PEOPLE!!!

I know everyone is a bit confused but let me break it down. When you are in a relationship, most of the time you come across a few bumps in the road or obstacles. There will be arguements where one half of the couple feels some type of way and the other has no idea why because they 'loved them the best way they knew how'.

Let me ask everyone this: Has there been a point in your relationship where you have sat and literally told your partner what you want/need and did that because you expected them to comply? And then when the problem presented itself again...every word you said previously was ignored. Your partner just continued trying to handle things the "best way they knew how".

ATTENTION: IF YOUR MATE IS TELLING YOU EXACTLY HOW TO HANDLE SPECIFIC SITUATIONS.....LISTEN TO THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is no worst feeling then having the strength to tell your partner how you are feeling, only for it to be ignored! As people in relationships, you have to learn how to listen. You have to learn how to take what is being said to you LITERALLY and act by those exact words.

When someone expresses how they feel, it isnt up to you to make you rown interpretation of it or "revamp" it...they are telling you because that is EXACTLY how they want a situation handled if it comes back up again.

FOR EXAMPLE: A couple argues alot. The guy reveals to the girl that it upsets him when she continues to 'nag' him as he tries to calm down because he has a temper and does not want to take it out on her. She hears these words EVERY time they argue but does NOT take heed to them. She takes her own interpretation of it and instead of calling over and over starts texting instead. That is NOT what the male asked for. He asked for a certain amount of space for him to calm down so that he can have a clear head and then come back to the situation. Once the girl tries this, things become better within the relationship because, just as his wishes are respected, he begins to respect hers more because he sees that she is receptive to his wants/needs.

This also applies to males dealing with females. If she gets upset and likes attention to be given to her...give it. It probably wont take much for her to be happy and forget about the whole issue.


THE MORAL OF THIS POST: If someone you are with tells you in detail how to handle rocky situations in your relationship...take that to heart. They are giving you the solution to most problems.



DO NOT LOVE PEOPLE THE WAY THAT YOU FEEL IS RIGHT....LOVE THEM THE WAY THEY ASK YOU TO...it makes everything better!

wow. where have i been. i have TRULY slacked on this blog but it is for a good cause. im finishing up with school so that i can turn this into an actual magazine.


so please hit me up with new relationship topics you'd like to read about or questions that you want/need answered and ill be back on my grind with this blog.............

-T. Simpson

idk why but lately people have been asking me for ALL types of advice...and it isnt even necessarily people that read the blog! just my friends & shit...and i've come across a recurring theme in all the advice i give out...

usually, what people are complaining about are things they have issues dealing with within themselves. My homegirl tells me that her girl is selfish and doesnt want to change. All the while she is complaining about things ahe has done in the past and KEEPS bringing up how she doesnt think she will change & maybe its time for her to move on. I know one thing about me is that if i'm trying to change something within MYSELF for someone ELSE, the LAAAST thing i wanna hear is that motherfuker complaining about me not changing OVERNIGHT!

Like come on, people expect that just because you have realized change or improvement is needed & want to take the steps towards it, doesnt mean your whole attitude whill instantly approve. People slip back into old habits during a time like that & what they need is someone who notices the POSITIVE within them too.

I felt like the fact that she would even STILL be constantly bringing up the past is a sign that she might just be the selfish one. Help your mate out some...

This brings me to the point of past cheaters....Looooord knows if your mate used to cheat...do not (I REPEAT...DO NOOOOOT) keep bringing that shit up! All you are doing is either reminding WHY they cheated or reminding them about the person they cheated WITH....either one is bad lol

but back to the mirror image thing...if you're constantly accusing someone of doing something...it's gonna start looking like you've been sniffing in other peoples gardens & are insecure that its happening to YOU on the other end! It always makes you look like you lack trust in your partner.


Sooo people, my best advice to anyone with a complaint about their mate is to look at yourself in that same way & see if you're committing the same acts you are accusing them of cuz chances are...you probably are!

And you have two options if you're dealing with someone you have a negative past with...
1. let that shit go
2. let that person go
(holding onto both WONT work out for you)

-T. Simpson

I cant stand when i write to my man and he doesn't respond...at all lol
I can understand if it's something that doesnt require a response but dang...half the time when it does require one, i get nothing. This is an ongoing theme for us, for me to get mad about this. It started becoming cute now because he doesnt even realize half the time that he does it...but let me tell you...it is a HUGE pet peeve of mine?

WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR PET PEEVES?

I miss him
I miss looking into his eyes and seeing my reflection
I miss his protection
If this was MY world and we needed a leader...
I wouldnt even tolerate an election
I choose HIM
Shit, that's who i want to lead me
Just like he rules me
My King
If i ever doubted such a thing as a soulmate
He'd be the one that fools me
If there's any doubt that God is real
This is my testimony that He's perfect
Out of all the people in this world
He decided I was worth it
To meet you
To share a future with my equal
Any other man will be denied
Never in my life would I dismiss him
Right now I wish I could kiss him
Hell yeah...
I miss him.

- T. Simpson


just another poem i wrote. feel free to give feedback or maybe a snap lol

i was having a conversation with a very good friend some weeks ago and we came across the subject of her not being satisfied with the progression of her relationship...or "situationship" that she was in. She said he wasn't moving fast enough for her because he was not doing what she was used to as far as distinguishing stages in building a relationship.

She said that he always wants her around and in the crib but he never pays her any attention. She said that he bought her to All Star Weekend this year and she was the only girl and he paid her little to no mind. All his friends were passing comments like "you bringing sand to the beach now??" To her, these things were NOT what she was/is looking for but to me, he damn near was ready to propose to her.

This is my advice that i gave:
KNOW THE PERSON YOU ARE WITH FOR WHO THEY ARE!!!

Everyone is always on a kick to change someone or make them fit you or something along those lines. Sometimes bloggers, you just have to accept someone for who they are. I'm not saying that progression in a person isn't a quality you should want, because eveyrone at some point in their life should want to progress...i'm just saying that people have certain ways abotu them that are not going to change and you have to take their signs of love for what they are.

I saw him wanting her over there all the time as him saying that he enjoys her company and even though he's still gonna parlay with his boys and shit...he feels comfortable knowing that she is in his presence...it gives him a sense of security in a way. I took her going to all start weekend as the only female his way of saying..."baby this is not shit that i usually do but i'm feeling you so i'm bringing you FREE OF CHARGE OR ANY EXPENSES...to all star weekend with me and MY NIGGAS!!" When his friends passed their comments abotu bringing sand to the beach, that was a dead giveaway that this is not normally shit that he does...and this is a big step for him. Whether he gave all his attention to her or not...in his mind he was thinking he did something so special for her...andin a way...he did.

I have another friend who thinks her girl is falling out of love. They had a falling out before because my friend was easy to wear her heart on her sleeve and give ALL her emotions to her girl. After that incident she because cold and put a huuuge wall up between the two of them in order not to get hurt again. What my friend didn't realize is that she had that wall up way too long and started believing that this was actually how she always acted towards her girlfriend. She wasn't even noticing the little things her girl was doing to get her to tear parts of this wall down. For the first time since they had dated...her girl said "i love you" first. This isnt no big shit to me because it's mutual between me & mine...but to her it should have been historic! They had been dating on and off for about 5 years!! Thats big shit.

When someone steps outside of theirself and the normal shit that they have grown accustomed to doing...as their mate, you HAVE to take notcie to these things or it could damper a part of your relationship that doesnt even need to be brought up.

People let their egos and not wanting to give in to people be their downfall. If you want your relationship to last...KNOW your mate...like REALLY know them for who they are and then figure out with that information if they are giving you the love you want and the way you want it. Never base it off of how you love though...because.....

EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT.

These are just my words of advice. Anyone ever been in a situation where they misjudged something by not knowing their mate well enough? Or have you been the one who was misunderstood or judged incorrectly??

(yall thought i was joking about this blog...nope)

this may be more to the female readers...but somehow i feel like guys will be able to relate also.

WHY IS THERE ALLLLWAYS THAT ONE FEMALE/MALE THAT HATES ON AND TRIES TO SABATOGE YOUR RELATIONSHIP????????

Of course for those who read the last two blogs, you see that i have somewhat of a stalker "following" my blogs on here and on myspace. Now, i'm not new to the female hater...i just thought that with age, the nonsense and silly shit would stop.

I know all my female readers can feel me on this on at least some level...
Whenever you are happy in a relationship and enjoying your loved one and everything is going as planned...here comes the "hater" trying to ruin things and make them more difficult and even sometimes trying to break up what you have so that they can get involved with your dude. Usually this is ok if they're just doing small little things trying to get under your skin...but then there are times when it gets to this point...where they follow the things you do and start stalking and harrassing you about your dude being with them and claiming then when in reality...you have NO idea who the chick is lol
Here are some points that i can make about the "follower" or "hater":

1. It's usually a girl who used to or wants to get dicked down by the guy you are seeing and feels like you are getting "what's theirs". Most of these chicks are delusional and take things such as AIM and MySpace to a level of actually KNOWing the guy. They feel like the MyHotComments and little comments under pics means that the dude wants them when in reality...he's just a flirt and probably has sent them the same message as a million other chicks on there.

2. Now i wont even put this on solely the female just being crazy...many guys feel the need to gas up every chick they meet and make them feel important and like they have a special place in their lives. The common, average chick takes this and runs with it. There are many cases where the dude will front like he is oblivious to what this girl is talking about when in actuality, he's been filling her head with nonsense all along.

3. Much like my stalker...most of these females make themselves "anonymous" because they know that if the dude knew the shit they were trying to pull...they'd be cut off (if your man had any respect for you...mine had none for me so this kind of stuff was cute to him for some reason). If he has respect though and finds out...then its a wrap for this chick so like my stalker, she must remain anonymous and keep a low profile as far as being founf out is concerned. Another reason she's anonymous could be because she's extremely pussy and doesnt want any problems unless it's through an alternate identity (which is why i just stopped responding lol)

4. ALOT of these females (if you are dating a dude who is popular in some sort of way) fall "in love" with your dudes alter ego. Much like Beyonce and/or most celebrities, alot of popular dudes have a personality when they are dealing with fans and groupies...and then they have their real selves that only family, close friends and of course the girlfriend, fiancee or wife sees. My ex just so happens to be very sexy and has a personality of a "bad boy" and not giving a fuck...ALOT of females are attracted to this bc they see the body, get the pic comments from him and flirt with him...so they feel a connection with the person...but only on that level. If you were to ask these same females your dudes REAL WHOLE name, his favorite color, something else he likes to do besides what they picked up on myspace, facebook or crushspot or even what his parents names are or how many siblings they have/had...the girl would draw the quickest blank face. This is because they have fallen in like with "LoverManDee"instead of David Lamar Brown (example names lmao). Its a sad sad case and sometimes the dude eats it up bc he's confused who he is with this multiple personality. (this is why baby girl put Ms. Patron Pay as i stated i would rather be MRS. C--- B------)

5. ALOT of guys deal with this too! When certain guys have been with a female that puts it on them better than anyone else, but doesnt want to be with them, their whole world turns upside down and they actually step outside of themselves and contact the person's significant other and try to shit on what they have. WHY would you do that?? Especially as a guy bc that seems like such a bitchy, catty thing to do. To me, that shows low self esteem and just extreme catiness.


In my personal case of dealing with the stalker, i have the anonymous chick who tried to come in between a relationship (of two people who arent even together) after following my every word and doing research and then creating and coming up with assumptions that best fit their "case" they wanted to make. Did this message bother me? Yes, because it was done on a blog created for business purposes. And no, because this girl who is the "real deal" cant even state her actual name which means...maybe she isnt being claimed at all. Did it make me question him? No, i actually just told him what happened, we had a discussion about why bitches are crazy and we kept it moving. I even told him not to try to figure out who it was bc he's still my baby and it wouldn't matter anywayz.

Now i'm sure this girl feels that bc i'm not on his top that i'm not being the only one "claimed" as she said...but Lord knows i have let MySpace dictate too much of my life as is...and it really doesnt determine much at all. I know my placein his life and i know what it is/was with us so that whole comment onmy blog was actually pointless (except that it made for a good blog entry...thank you mamas :)

To sum it all up...i'm just curious is anyone has gone through this before: where a random girl/dude has hit up your wifey/hubbie and tried to throw a wrench in your project with them??? How did the situation unfold? What were the end results??


(thank you to you for writing that last comment on the entry my love...cuz whoever it is definitely DOES need to get a life! lol)

Dear Blog Family,

Quite recently ...trucee... was infected with a stalker. Because of this, we were forced to filter all of our comments, being that this is for business purposes and not for people to show their asses. We will continue to write blogs for our readers and hopefully continue to get the same support we've been getting. Sorry for the inconvenience, we are just trying to ensure that ...trucee... is only used for the purpose it was designed for...and not for this petty, childish, immature mess that one lonely female is trying to infect our blog with.

You are still able to comment on whatever you want, it just has to be approved by Serita or myself now. This wont take long considering we both have access to the site, so please keep sharing your opinions and asking questions that you would like answered.

-Ms. Simpson & Ms. Sophisticated :)

First let me apologize for the pause in entries but school has just begun and i am on the grind like nobodies business...had to get my schedule and classes straight. They are all together now so i'm good to go...and great to write lol
Anywayz...

Had an almost deep convo with a few male friends, that will probably never get finished...but it made me want to get into the heads of my blog family!
We were talking about the things that we would want in our mate. I used to have this convo allll the time, i even gave my answer when the blog Real Women, Real Talk posed the question....but i think it has changed since then, which is crazy bc that was not that long ago. I just recently finalized a break up with someone so maybe thats why but i dont know. Life works in weird, off the wall, surprising ways so it may not even be the end to that situation and relationship but as of right now...it did change the things i'd want in a mate. Not so much because of him, but because i'm just seeing things differently and looking through a different pair of eyes....

What i Want in a Man is:
-Someone who makes me laugh even when i dont want to. The only time i dont want that to happen is when i am wanting to be taken seriously because it only angers me when people crack jokes when im genuinely bothered by something.

-A man that knows my moods like his own and responds to them accordingly. For example, i am a spoiled brat...my mood goes two ways with that though. I am either being spoiled and whining a little for some attention, or i'm just being a plain old bitch because well, its part of my attitude. When i am just being a big baby (everyone has their baby moments, dont judge me lol), i want a man who will see that, give me the 5 mins of attention i want, and most likely deserve, and then we both go about our day. If i'm being a bitch, i want a man that will put me in my place without being a dictator or control freak about it. Trust, to me there is nothing sexier than a man that can lay down the law without making me feel like his child or like he owns me. There are ways to do it...i'm just saying what i want tho, i'm not giving up the advice and ways to do it also. In that case, i'd just date and fuck myself lol.

-I want someone who has a rough side to them. No, not like an ax murderer rough side but just someone who has seen both sides of the world and can relate to either one. They can be themselves around the fellas and then STILL be themselves around business professionals bc they hold and can carry both those sides of their personalities.

-I NEED a man who is willing to recieve AND give without it being an issue. I am an extremely giving person and it takes little simple things to make me feel as if that is appreciated. Shit, i'll take hugs, kisses, little silly notes, things being made for me...anything that makes me feel as if i am a valued part of your life because well, if i'm not...then i shouldn't be a part of it.

-COMMUNICATION...i want it, need it, dream about it at night (lol) Ok ok, maybe not the last one but it is key to ANY relationship! I have no problem telling my significant other my whereabouts when they ask or saying who i with because i have nothing to hide. I used to cheat but i dont anymore so whats wrong with answering a few questions here and there. I want a man that doesn't feel like communicating with me is a chore, or some type of "reporting" back to me. Trust, i have no desire to know anyone's every move because that's just crazy. I will ask every once and a while where you are or who you're with but its not to keep tabs, it's only bc well, sometimes i'm just nosey and those are regular ass convo questions, u kno?

-I would like to date someone who completely holds me down, no matter what the circumstances. I dont know about other people because everyone has their own agendas, but i wanted to be married young so that i could have kids young and be able to live my life with my husband for a bit, have our kids and then enjoy the rest of our lives as a family. I just turned 24 and most likely expect to be with someone for at least some years before an engagement or marriage so its not like im rushing to do anything TODAY...i just had a plan in my head...doesnt have to turn out that way, it's just something i thought about and would be happy if it worked out that way. I say all that to say, HOW am i going to call someone my husband who NEVER has my back. I need someone who loves me no matter what anyone else has to say. That will defend me when they KNOW people have the wrong idea or misconception of me and not be afraid to do it. Most ppl dont realize that if you have friends, that are true, genuine friends, they will be there regardless of anything else going on. If they dont like who you are with and befriend you for it, they werent shit to begin with. My friends have had problems with exes...even my family has, but if i felt strongly enough to say i loved them, then i'm going to defend any misconceptions or judgements anyoen has. I've done it in the past and still have the same family and friends...never mattered...i hold my mate down no matter what. Even when i'm mad, i have their back...so i expect the same.


I have alot more things i can get into but they are ALL so detailed and i'm curious to know what my readers want from their mate! Everyone is different and we all want different things so...
What do YOU want????????

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yes! another favorite subject of mine...
i'm about to break down MY definitions of the three...
feel free to disagree, i could care less (lol...jk)...
if you do disagree, let me know your definiton(s)

Sex: just plain, simple intercourse. pumping in and out of your partner to reach an orgasm, or to 'cum'. no real emotions, pretty much just the act itself.

Fucking: (innocent smile) to me, this is where all the raw emotion you feel towards your mate comes out. the hair pulling, ass slapping, nasty talking, raunchy, biting, lip sucking, just plain dirty ass sex!!! take note that the word 'sex' is used in the definition because this is a form of sex! this is when no discussion is needed, when you and your partner can just look at each other and start ripping off clothes. no props needed (unless of course its a sex toy), no real words needed (unless they are filthy), and for this type of sex, i think there's more eye contact...not on a lovey dovey level...but more of a "im gonna fuck the shit out of you until you have multiple orgasms that ripple through your body" level :)

Making Love: awwwww...now this is your sweet, romantic sex that you take time out for to please your mate mentally, physically and emotionally all at once (which often times makes it the best type of orgasm for a woman). Props are used in this type of sex such as candles, bubble baths, massage oils, "smell goods", music, etc, etc. often times, this is the sex that brings a woman to tears (sometimes even a guy hehehe) but yeah, this is the type of sex that lets you know you're actually in a serious relationship bc most guys, or even females, dont go all out like this for just anybody.


well, those are MY definitions...what are yours???

and out of all three, i must say, that with my man...i prefer the fucking AND making love. either one can be done at will because there is passion and love that NEVER EVER leaves our relationship.

which of the three do you prefer??

Yeah so, im excited about my new blog (this is Ms. Simpson btw)...
as much as i loooove writing about relationships and the successes and failures of them...

i NEEDed my own blog!!!

check me out at http://godsgift23.blogspot.com

:)

the other day i spoke to my homeboy that i havent spoken to in a loooong time. he told me he had a new girl but had ONE biiiig issue with her...this girl has tattoos EVERYWHERE! and not in places which are discreet...but in places where any and EVERY one can see them. this isnt necessarily a big issue to him...but he's worried about the family introductions and going out to fancy places where a gown or something is required...and she'll have all these damn tattoos showing...

mind you, i have five tattoos myself. no one ever knows though unless i show them and the most obvious spot i have one in...is my shoulder (some people may say my lower back but thats usually covered unless at a party. i said that to say, im NOT against tattoos at all...in any way! i do however think it is tacky (no offense to anyone) to have tattoos all over your body, in random places and then go out somewhere classy and try to look like a part of the crowd. if you dont plan on involving evening gowns or anything of that sort to your activities list, then by all means, handle your business.

shit, i was even slightly embarrassed when i was in a wedding and had the tattoo on my shoulder showing :(
thought i stood out like a sore thumb.

but my question really is...would you date someone who had tattoos any and everywhere?? or have you??? did it change any dynamics in your relationship?

what about for the ladies? how do you feel about tattoos? cuz i LOVE bodies covered in them...as long as i can still take you out places without people mistaking you for a rapper lmao

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU CANT STAND YOUR PARTNERS FAMILY???

this is an age old situation where you meet the person of ur dreams...fall head over heels in love...become comfortable that you will be with this person for a long-term period....and then

DUMMM DUMMM DUMMMMMMMMMMM

you meet their family, and you HATE them. ok, i wont say hate because that is a very strong word, but you dislike them. they may love you to death and like every single thing about you but there is something about them, or maybe even just one family member, that you just CANNOT bare!!

They could be super ghetto, too uppity, extremely judgemental, really loud, too damn quiet...whatever the reason, something about them makes you uncomfortable and you hate to be aroud them. This personally hasnt happened to me...

wait, let me think..................................................
i may have had a sister or two that i didnt fuck with in the beginning but it all worked out for the best.

Have you ever been in this situation? is there a family of a significant other that you cant stand? why???