Can You Hear Me Now? GOOD!!!

12/27/2009 08:44:00 AM Edit This 2 Comments »
This post idea came out of nowhere but so many people have been asking me what i want to do with an English degree and THIS is what i want to do! So instead of ignoring my blog anymore...i have to get back on track so i can go into the New Year with hard work being done...because that's how i want to spend my year...

Anyway, back to the point of the post. Its been on my mind lately that alot of couples dont work out because one party or the other feels they arent getting the 'love they need'. Everytime i run this thought over in my head, it makes me really analyze what they mean by that.

On the flip side, the other party is usually standing there with a confused look saying things like: "i loved them the best way i knew how'.


I know everyone is a bit confused but let me break it down. When you are in a relationship, most of the time you come across a few bumps in the road or obstacles. There will be arguements where one half of the couple feels some type of way and the other has no idea why because they 'loved them the best way they knew how'.

Let me ask everyone this: Has there been a point in your relationship where you have sat and literally told your partner what you want/need and did that because you expected them to comply? And then when the problem presented itself again...every word you said previously was ignored. Your partner just continued trying to handle things the "best way they knew how".


There is no worst feeling then having the strength to tell your partner how you are feeling, only for it to be ignored! As people in relationships, you have to learn how to listen. You have to learn how to take what is being said to you LITERALLY and act by those exact words.

When someone expresses how they feel, it isnt up to you to make you rown interpretation of it or "revamp" it...they are telling you because that is EXACTLY how they want a situation handled if it comes back up again.

FOR EXAMPLE: A couple argues alot. The guy reveals to the girl that it upsets him when she continues to 'nag' him as he tries to calm down because he has a temper and does not want to take it out on her. She hears these words EVERY time they argue but does NOT take heed to them. She takes her own interpretation of it and instead of calling over and over starts texting instead. That is NOT what the male asked for. He asked for a certain amount of space for him to calm down so that he can have a clear head and then come back to the situation. Once the girl tries this, things become better within the relationship because, just as his wishes are respected, he begins to respect hers more because he sees that she is receptive to his wants/needs.

This also applies to males dealing with females. If she gets upset and likes attention to be given to her...give it. It probably wont take much for her to be happy and forget about the whole issue.

THE MORAL OF THIS POST: If someone you are with tells you in detail how to handle rocky situations in your relationship...take that to heart. They are giving you the solution to most problems.



SoHotToTrot said...

Ha, ha, ha!!! Me & my boyfriend been together for like 6 years now and he been tellin' me how to deal with situations (like leave him alone when shit gets heated) but my hard-headed emotional ass always pushes & pushes over the smallest things (even though some of those things I felt were really important) But now I just started leavin' shit alone and shit has been a lot better and my feelings don't even feel hurt any more. It actually makes him see when he's wildin'

Anonymous said...

I disagree with this. You cant FORCE someone to love you the way YOU want them to. Its just not right and also it takes away from what Love is. How would you feel if someone keeps telling you what to do in a relationship when it pertains to you. It will feel like a job and it can become stressful. You guys can share opinions on how you want to be treated and work comes from there YEAH but telling someone how they should love you and treat you will only back fire on you. Love is an balance action...u never whats going to come from it so u cant predict it or force it....just happens. Just have an open line of communication and be willing to sacrafice or both parties should just clock in and treat it like a 9-5....not sayin a relationship isnt WORK just saying it shouldnt be treated as a job - View

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