...trucee...

idk why but lately people have been asking me for ALL types of advice...and it isnt even necessarily people that read the blog! just my friends & shit...and i've come across a recurring theme in all the advice i give out...

usually, what people are complaining about are things they have issues dealing with within themselves. My homegirl tells me that her girl is selfish and doesnt want to change. All the while she is complaining about things ahe has done in the past and KEEPS bringing up how she doesnt think she will change & maybe its time for her to move on. I know one thing about me is that if i'm trying to change something within MYSELF for someone ELSE, the LAAAST thing i wanna hear is that motherfuker complaining about me not changing OVERNIGHT!

Like come on, people expect that just because you have realized change or improvement is needed & want to take the steps towards it, doesnt mean your whole attitude whill instantly approve. People slip back into old habits during a time like that & what they need is someone who notices the POSITIVE within them too.

I felt like the fact that she would even STILL be constantly bringing up the past is a sign that she might just be the selfish one. Help your mate out some...

This brings me to the point of past cheaters....Looooord knows if your mate used to cheat...do not (I REPEAT...DO NOOOOOT) keep bringing that shit up! All you are doing is either reminding WHY they cheated or reminding them about the person they cheated WITH....either one is bad lol

but back to the mirror image thing...if you're constantly accusing someone of doing something...it's gonna start looking like you've been sniffing in other peoples gardens & are insecure that its happening to YOU on the other end! It always makes you look like you lack trust in your partner.


Sooo people, my best advice to anyone with a complaint about their mate is to look at yourself in that same way & see if you're committing the same acts you are accusing them of cuz chances are...you probably are!

And you have two options if you're dealing with someone you have a negative past with...
1. let that shit go
2. let that person go
(holding onto both WONT work out for you)

-T. Simpson

I cant stand when i write to my man and he doesn't respond...at all lol
I can understand if it's something that doesnt require a response but dang...half the time when it does require one, i get nothing. This is an ongoing theme for us, for me to get mad about this. It started becoming cute now because he doesnt even realize half the time that he does it...but let me tell you...it is a HUGE pet peeve of mine?

WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR PET PEEVES?

I miss him
I miss looking into his eyes and seeing my reflection
I miss his protection
If this was MY world and we needed a leader...
I wouldnt even tolerate an election
I choose HIM
Shit, that's who i want to lead me
Just like he rules me
My King
If i ever doubted such a thing as a soulmate
He'd be the one that fools me
If there's any doubt that God is real
This is my testimony that He's perfect
Out of all the people in this world
He decided I was worth it
To meet you
To share a future with my equal
Any other man will be denied
Never in my life would I dismiss him
Right now I wish I could kiss him
Hell yeah...
I miss him.

- T. Simpson


just another poem i wrote. feel free to give feedback or maybe a snap lol

i was having a conversation with a very good friend some weeks ago and we came across the subject of her not being satisfied with the progression of her relationship...or "situationship" that she was in. She said he wasn't moving fast enough for her because he was not doing what she was used to as far as distinguishing stages in building a relationship.

She said that he always wants her around and in the crib but he never pays her any attention. She said that he bought her to All Star Weekend this year and she was the only girl and he paid her little to no mind. All his friends were passing comments like "you bringing sand to the beach now??" To her, these things were NOT what she was/is looking for but to me, he damn near was ready to propose to her.

This is my advice that i gave:
KNOW THE PERSON YOU ARE WITH FOR WHO THEY ARE!!!

Everyone is always on a kick to change someone or make them fit you or something along those lines. Sometimes bloggers, you just have to accept someone for who they are. I'm not saying that progression in a person isn't a quality you should want, because eveyrone at some point in their life should want to progress...i'm just saying that people have certain ways abotu them that are not going to change and you have to take their signs of love for what they are.

I saw him wanting her over there all the time as him saying that he enjoys her company and even though he's still gonna parlay with his boys and shit...he feels comfortable knowing that she is in his presence...it gives him a sense of security in a way. I took her going to all start weekend as the only female his way of saying..."baby this is not shit that i usually do but i'm feeling you so i'm bringing you FREE OF CHARGE OR ANY EXPENSES...to all star weekend with me and MY NIGGAS!!" When his friends passed their comments abotu bringing sand to the beach, that was a dead giveaway that this is not normally shit that he does...and this is a big step for him. Whether he gave all his attention to her or not...in his mind he was thinking he did something so special for her...andin a way...he did.

I have another friend who thinks her girl is falling out of love. They had a falling out before because my friend was easy to wear her heart on her sleeve and give ALL her emotions to her girl. After that incident she because cold and put a huuuge wall up between the two of them in order not to get hurt again. What my friend didn't realize is that she had that wall up way too long and started believing that this was actually how she always acted towards her girlfriend. She wasn't even noticing the little things her girl was doing to get her to tear parts of this wall down. For the first time since they had dated...her girl said "i love you" first. This isnt no big shit to me because it's mutual between me & mine...but to her it should have been historic! They had been dating on and off for about 5 years!! Thats big shit.

When someone steps outside of theirself and the normal shit that they have grown accustomed to doing...as their mate, you HAVE to take notcie to these things or it could damper a part of your relationship that doesnt even need to be brought up.

People let their egos and not wanting to give in to people be their downfall. If you want your relationship to last...KNOW your mate...like REALLY know them for who they are and then figure out with that information if they are giving you the love you want and the way you want it. Never base it off of how you love though...because.....

EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT.

These are just my words of advice. Anyone ever been in a situation where they misjudged something by not knowing their mate well enough? Or have you been the one who was misunderstood or judged incorrectly??